“Hello, Am I Hired?” Confessions of a Crappy Phone Interview

We have all been there – the crappy phone interview. You wish you would have said, “Sorry wrong number” or gotten the tone key to work as a restart button, but instead you are stuck thinking “Hello, hello. Can you just hire me or excuse me already!” Blame it on the alcohol recession. I used to have a whatever-you’ll-get-them-next-time mentality to interviewing, but now I feel like one crappy interview is as crippling as no Kit-Kat’s to a chocolate addict.

My wounds are still fresh from my crappy phone interview that occurred this past week. It was for an editorial position at a dream-job kind of company. I will not disclose their name for the small possibility that I’ll get called back for a face-to-face interview! The job description was all me, “A smart self-starter with excellent editorial skills and judgment. Experience in an online publishing environment is required. Experience working with freelance writers or independent contractors is a strong plus.” Me, me, me!

The day of the interview, I woke up early meditated, researched the company, and wrote down questions to ask after the interview. If I were a student, I would have gotten an +A for preparation. I felt confident and prepared! The phone rang and I put on my best professional voice. I was expecting the first question to be your typical, “So tell me about yourself.” Instead he asked me something that left me saying, “That’s a good question, let me think about it for a moment.” The awkward silence sent my mind on survival mode. I asked him to repeat the question to buy more time all the while experiencing premature menopausal hot flashes and intense anxiety. I stumbled through the answer and knew my nerves had gotten the best of me. Sadly, it was a domino effect after that. I tried my best to save it, but the damage was done.

I can only compare my experience to going through a long and strenuous search for the perfect guy on Match.com. You carefully pluck out all of the losers (at least the obvious ones) and manage to come up with a pool of great guys to contact. You hear back from your grade-A picks and manage to score a date with a I-can-bring-you-home-to-meet-my-crazy-family type of guy, but first you want to chat on the phone. You start thinking about great conversation starters and feeling confident about your first talk – until he calls and asks you if you’re a virgin. Okay, maybe not exactly like that. Regardless, you realize you won’t be dating this person now or ever.

However just like a bad date, a crappy interview should enlighten you. After the interview, I realized that I have the ingredients and the recipe, but I just didn’t cook the best batch that day. Trust me I’ve made some slammin’ recipes in the past. I can choose to act like a desperate chocolate addict or make mental notes and grow from it. Allow yourself to make mistakes and move on with your head held high. Even in a touch economy, there is always room for another batch!

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