“Hello, Am I Hired?” Confessions of a Crappy Phone Interview

We have all been there – the crappy phone interview. You wish you would have said, “Sorry wrong number” or gotten the tone key to work as a restart button, but instead you are stuck thinking “Hello, hello. Can you just hire me or excuse me already!” Blame it on the alcohol recession. I used to have a whatever-you’ll-get-them-next-time mentality to interviewing, but now I feel like one crappy interview is as crippling as no Kit-Kat’s to a chocolate addict.

My wounds are still fresh from my crappy phone interview that occurred this past week. It was for an editorial position at a dream-job kind of company. I will not disclose their name for the small possibility that I’ll get called back for a face-to-face interview! The job description was all me, “A smart self-starter with excellent editorial skills and judgment. Experience in an online publishing environment is required. Experience working with freelance writers or independent contractors is a strong plus.” Me, me, me!

The day of the interview, I woke up early meditated, researched the company, and wrote down questions to ask after the interview. If I were a student, I would have gotten an +A for preparation. I felt confident and prepared! The phone rang and I put on my best professional voice. I was expecting the first question to be your typical, “So tell me about yourself.” Instead he asked me something that left me saying, “That’s a good question, let me think about it for a moment.” The awkward silence sent my mind on survival mode. I asked him to repeat the question to buy more time all the while experiencing premature menopausal hot flashes and intense anxiety. I stumbled through the answer and knew my nerves had gotten the best of me. Sadly, it was a domino effect after that. I tried my best to save it, but the damage was done.

I can only compare my experience to going through a long and strenuous search for the perfect guy on Match.com. You carefully pluck out all of the losers (at least the obvious ones) and manage to come up with a pool of great guys to contact. You hear back from your grade-A picks and manage to score a date with a I-can-bring-you-home-to-meet-my-crazy-family type of guy, but first you want to chat on the phone. You start thinking about great conversation starters and feeling confident about your first talk – until he calls and asks you if you’re a virgin. Okay, maybe not exactly like that. Regardless, you realize you won’t be dating this person now or ever.

However just like a bad date, a crappy interview should enlighten you. After the interview, I realized that I have the ingredients and the recipe, but I just didn’t cook the best batch that day. Trust me I’ve made some slammin’ recipes in the past. I can choose to act like a desperate chocolate addict or make mental notes and grow from it. Allow yourself to make mistakes and move on with your head held high. Even in a touch economy, there is always room for another batch!

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3 thoughts on ““Hello, Am I Hired?” Confessions of a Crappy Phone Interview

  1. I was realllyyyy excited about this one interview for a job i wanted so badly. And it went well, i ended up staying there for 4 hours and they gave me work assignments to test out my writing and people skills. They were all encouraging and said they’d send me a writing assignment later that week. One week later, after numerous phone calls and emails, turned out they changed their mind and weren’t planning on hiring after all =( Then, this one other guy called me for a phone interview, sounding hungover and as if he’d just woken up 10 minutes ago. And said, before anything else, “I’m going to try and get this done as fast as possible.” 5 minutes later, the interview was over and I never heard back again.

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